I’ve seen it dozens of times. You’re the new kid on the block hired to work with an established team and you’re feeling a little like a fifth wheel. You’ve tried diving into conversations, sharing your after work activities, and even made comments into the air hoping someone will bite so you can start some dialogue. But is that really the right approach?
I’ve managed a lot of teams. Peers so synergistic that one person picked up a sentence where the other person left off. It can be quite intimidating for the new member. Here are three things to stop doing immediately!
1. The Monday morning social throw up.
Sharing the dirty details of how many bars you hit, how many drinks you had, or worse, the details of private moments with your significant other is not accomplishing what you think. You aren’t proving to your teammates that you can hang with them socially. In fact, you are doing the exact opposite. Why? Privacy. In most scenarios like this, your teammates are likely thinking that if you share this kind of information having just met them, what else would you share after you’ve gotten to really know them. I guarantee they won’t give you the chance. There is such a thing as discretion.
2. Private conversation diving.
So you hear a couple of your teammates talking about an event they attended and you decide to jump in with your personal opinion on the topic. Are you really surprised at the weird looks you’re getting? You’re still new and you weren’t there. Awkward!
3. Drawing attention the wrong way.
I’ve seen people suddenly change their wardrobe, their perfume and/or their music choices, all in attempts to get noticed from the other members of the team. In every case, it backfires and alienates. Stay true to you.
When trying to fit in, keep a few things in mind.
You were hired because of your ability to do the job.
Every person on that team wasn’t given their spot, they earned it and you’ll have to as well.
Let your work do the talking for you.
Solicit the team for their opinions on handling situations unfamiliar to you.
Be a sponge to soak up the information.
When your teammates see you are as committed as they are, they will let you in. Now, remember all of this when it’s time to add another new person into YOUR team.
The Rant 